keep it real

I am a work in progress--we all are.

Sometimes it feels like all work and no progress, but this is life.

I find that these are the times that God has not abandoned me at all but is working in such tiny, detail-oriented ways that I can't see Him past my own anxiety.

So I keep working and pray and trust that progress is around the corner.

That doesn't mean I don't also collapse in a puddle of tears after each step, but hey, I'm just keeping it real.

Before glory came the cross.

Tired

Tired--but "the kind of tired that can't be fixed by any amount of sleep."
Restless--"Our hearts are restless until they rest in You."
And we wander round in circles.

I watched a movie about Mother Teresa
and I am reading a book of letters by her.
I want that kind of tireless faith,
and the key is resting in Him, desiring only Him,
drinking in His will as if it were the water of life.
It is,
and I thirst.

Sometimes I think I have to be the strong one, to keep working, keep moving,
but He says, "Abide in my love. . .without me, you can do nothing."

"Stop struggling and the kingdom of God will be accomplished through you.  
Sit down on the floor, like a baby, and Christ will bend down and lift you up." (Heather King) 

I can't stop thinking about this, so I thought I better share it.

If you liked the song that I added at the end of my post See You In the Eucharist, you might also be interested in the following video.  Ums, likes, and you knows aside, this beautiful, heartfelt testimony changed my life.

*Danielle Rose performed this concert before entering a convent.  After two years discerning in the convent, she discovered that it was not the life God was calling her to live.  Instead, God wanted her to continue sharing her music with the world, and she is now a music missionary.*

The Little Way

We stumble along this little way to holiness beginning like children pushing good-deed beads in our pockets for kind words and doing our chores without complaining.  Then life happens and we get hurt and we grow up and suddenly everything seems much more complicated, holiness seems lifetimes away.  I am tempted to whine and complain and stomp my feet until I get my way.  St. Therese of Lisieux (the Little Flower, whose feast we celebrate today!) speaks of our need to be childlike, but there is a difference between childlike and childish.

In the words of St. Therese:
"I have always wanted to become a saint.  Unfortunately when I have compared myself with the saints, I have always found that there is the same difference between the saints and me as there is between a mountain whose summit is lost in the clouds and a humble grain of sand trodden underfoot by passers-by.  Instead of being discouraged, I told myself:  God would not make me wish for something impossible and so, in spite of my littleness, I can aim at being a saint.  It is impossible for me to grow bigger, so I put up with myself as I am, with all my countless faults.  But I will look for some means of going to heaven by a little way which is very short and very straight, a little way that is quite new.

"We live in an age of inventions.  We need no longer climb laboriously up flights of stairs; in well-to-do houses there are lifts.  And I was determined to find a lift to carry me to Jesus, for I was far too small to climb the steep stairs of perfection.  So I sought in holy Scripture some idea of what this lift I wanted would be, and I read these words:  'Whosoever is a little one, come to me.' It is your arms, Jesus, that are the lift to carry me to heaven.  And so there is no need for me to grow up:  I must stay little and become less and less."

Even though I've learned and read about Therese for as long as I can remember, I never really understood her until I read Heather King's book Shirt of Flame:  A Year With Saint Therese.  In Ms. King's words:

"Forget trying to achieve your own holiness, Therese seemed to be saying:  you are infinitely too feeble, weak, and misguided to accomplish anything on your own.  You're like a bleating lamb, wandering blindly around with your divided, wayward heart.  You're like a lost sheep, trying to get spiritual good marks by denying your humanity.  You're like a straying member of the flock, off in a corner trying to heal your own wounds and relieve your own obsessions.  Stop struggling and the kingdom of God will be accomplished through you.  Sit down on the floor, like a baby, and Christ will bend down and lift you up.

That is where you will get the strength to be a martyr.  That is where you will get the courage to make your way through the suffering and loneliness of daily life.  That is where you will get the joy to turn to the lost lamb beside you and assure him or her, as Christ assured the repentant thief as he hung on the cross:  "Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise" (Luke 23:43)."

"Be not afraid to tell Jesus that you love Him; even though it be without feeling, this is the way to oblige Him to help you, and carry you like a little child too feeble to walk." ~St. Therese

And so we can submit ourselves to the will of God with humble confidence and know that all is grace.  Happy feast day, Little Flowers!