We’re getting married. In
April. It’s so close, yet so far
away.
When I expressed my frustration that we can’t start our lives
together today, he said, "I
know. If I could speed up time. . .” He trailed off, I waited curiously, and he
finished, “Well, I wouldn't. But if I
could. . .no, I still wouldn't.” And he
laughed. And it was the most romantic
thing ever.
Everything inside me melted and I was sure of one thing: #keeper.
This is real love.
This is real. Realistic.
The beauty of life is in the present moment. It’s in the anticipation of things to come as
much as it is in the good things themselves.
It’s in the pain, the joy, the work, the play that we experience every
day of our lives.
Real love is lost in the translation of our culture. It’s lost in the lies that make us forget why
we married the person we did, to the point that we are so focused on the
struggles of a marriage and not on its fruits.
Real love is lost in the lies that make women believe they don’t have value
unless they have a man to admire and love them.
Real love is lost in the lies that make men find satisfaction in their lusts,
thus demeaning women by objectifying them for their parts.
Real love is lost in the lie that sex can be had
whenever with whoever as long as it’s “safe.”
The truth is that real love isn't “safe.” Real love is death on a cross.
Real love isn't all about romantic getaways to Paris. It’s about dirty diapers, and car problems,
and money struggles, and doing what you’d rather not do because it will benefit someone else.
Real love is even lost in the lie spread by abstinence programs
that “true love waits” for sex. Sure
true love refrains from having sex before marriage, but it’s not waiting until it can express itself—it’s
expressing itself now.
“If I could speed up time. . .I wouldn't.”
This is not true love “waiting;” it’s true love living.
This is not saying “no” to sex; it’s saying “yes” to sex as it is
meant to be—a life-giving communion,
a free, total, faithful, and fruitful gift (#TOB), an unbreakable covenant between two souls
and God proclaimed in vows made to the world.
Sex as a life-giving communion is meant to be a taste of heaven, a
glimpse into the ecstatic glory of our coming communion with God.
We are called to chastity—single people and couples
(dating/engaged/married) alike. As Arleen Spenceley writes:
Chastity, which isn’t abstinence but requires it outside marriage, is the virtue that integrates sexuality with the rest of our lives. So when we practice chastity, we neither disregard sex as unimportant in relationships nor revere it as most important. We decide to govern our appetites instead of being governed by them—a practice that frees us to pick marriage partners for reasons more substantial than “good sex,” which, in turn, frees us to fulfill the call to absolute love.We fulfill this call by experiencing the fullness of pain, of joy, of loneliness, of communion in love. We are called to come to Jesus, to know Him so that we "may have life and have it to the full" (John 10:10).
I could go on about this forever. In fact, I will, but probably not here, unless
you want to comment and dialogue with me. J Or
if you want to go deeper into why I (and the rest of the Catholic Church)
believe what I believe, I highly recommend Good
News About Sex and Marriage by Christopher West.
