There's been a lot going on with not much time left to write here. No worries--there will be a spectacular guest post here on our return from Baltimore. Get excited.
For now, all I have to offer are some random nagging thoughts and observations on two unrelated movies I recently watched. . .
I watched The Hunger Games once, and then again with my parents. Dad, who appeared to be engrossed in it, later said, "That was the stupidest movie I ever saw." Mom asked, "Where is the entertainment value?" I didn't have an answer, since Hollywood destroys the value in just about everything it produces these days. I could tell from watching the movie that the book was probably better at conveying a believable setting, but still, the violence seemed over the top and unnecessary.
The whole movie is a roller coaster of emotions, as we watch the poor and powerless in society forced to sacrifice their children to a "game" where the young will fight to the death for survival (on TV--this is a TV show in their world). There can only be one winner. It's gruesome and violent, and so horribly difficult to watch at times, but then occasionally something good happens to redeem it, to intrigue you to keep watching.
Some characters fight only to survive, others fight to win. We see humanity in its ugliest, cruelest state. We are dragged into the desperation of persecution in a mess of ugly, senseless violence. In a way, it touches the human center of us all that needs to find hope in suffering. There must be something good that comes out of this. There is a glimmer of hope, then Hollywood ties it up in a cheap bow and baits us on for the sequel, but we are left somewhat wounded.
There is so much violence in our world, so much senseless violence and death that I don't need my "entertainment" to echo that. I don't need a fictional story to glorify the violence, because I know that in real life, not this fictional nightmare, there is hope in suffering, and we find it on the Cross.
My dad has tried to get me to watch A Man for All Seasons for as long as I can remember. As kids we always poked fun at him because it's not at all an exciting movie, yet he claims it's the greatest of all time. I finally caved and watched it with him. It tells the story of St. Thomas More, who refused to accept King Henry VIII's marriage to Anne Boleyn after the pope in Rome denied his appeal for divorce. (This is the king's first divorce and remarriage, the one that led him to split from the Church of Rome and give himself authority over the Church of England.)
The film is witty, intellectual, thought-provoking, a little dry at times, but inspirational. Sir Thomas firmly stands his ground, refuses to sell his soul to acquiesce the king. As the Duke of Norfolk tries to convince Sir Thomas to take the oath to the king, he points out all the men who have taken the oath and says, "Why can't you do as I did and come with us, for fellowship!" Sir Thomas More replies, "And when we die, and you are sent to heaven for doing your conscience, and I am sent to hell for not doing mine, will you come with me, for fellowship?"
In the end, Sir Thomas dies a martyr among spineless politicians who were willing to sell their souls to save their lives. We are left pondering the question, "Dare we to enter the kingdom of heaven with ease when Our Lord Himself entered with so much pain?"
. . .
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Sunday, August 18, 2013
The Following
It's been a long week and I drive with the windows down and I hear
I'll find strength in pain and I will change my ways.
I'll know my name as it's called again.*
The music moves and pulls me out and on and grace trickles through.
Suddenly it's clear:
when you come to know that God IS, always and forever, everything changes.
The almost imperceptible workings of grace chip away slowly at the blinders around my eyes,
and I begin to see more and more through the eyes of God.
The way of faith requires daily conversion, a choice--to choose God, to choose love, to choose life.
The choice between continuing to love Him and follow Him, or to go my own way and ignore Him.
Doubt creeps in when this self-protective heart and over-thinking mind recognize this freedom, when I realize that I could stop right here, turn to apathy and live life in comfortable indifference.
After all, no matter what I do, God will remain all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving. HE IS. With or without me. "Through it all, Love remains."**
i am, but only because of Him. I could continue to exist for awhile without acknowledging Him, but when I took my last breath, that would be it.
We would be parted forever.
He doesn't need me, but He wants me. He wants you. He wants us to let Him love us. And He calls us by name.
We try to follow, but weak and stumbling we fall.
Over and over He calls us back to Himself, and over and over we have a choice to make--to move forward or step back, to allow grace to carry us through the hard times or to determine to plunge through the hard times alone, to do all things for His glory or to do all things for our own glory.
If I am to live truly, I must acknowledge where I come from.
If I am to live fully, I must embrace Who I come from.
I must embrace the cross, and in doing so, find strength in pain.
I must change my ways, and continue falling deeper in love with the Creator, the Redeemer, the Spirit.
I must continue to center myself and my life around Him,
so that when He calls again, I'll know my name, and be ready to follow.
*Mumford and Sons, "The Cave"*
**Collin Raye, "Love Remains"**
I'll find strength in pain and I will change my ways.
I'll know my name as it's called again.*
The music moves and pulls me out and on and grace trickles through.
Suddenly it's clear:
when you come to know that God IS, always and forever, everything changes.
The almost imperceptible workings of grace chip away slowly at the blinders around my eyes,
and I begin to see more and more through the eyes of God.
The way of faith requires daily conversion, a choice--to choose God, to choose love, to choose life.
The choice between continuing to love Him and follow Him, or to go my own way and ignore Him.
Doubt creeps in when this self-protective heart and over-thinking mind recognize this freedom, when I realize that I could stop right here, turn to apathy and live life in comfortable indifference.
After all, no matter what I do, God will remain all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving. HE IS. With or without me. "Through it all, Love remains."**
i am, but only because of Him. I could continue to exist for awhile without acknowledging Him, but when I took my last breath, that would be it.
We would be parted forever.
He doesn't need me, but He wants me. He wants you. He wants us to let Him love us. And He calls us by name.
We try to follow, but weak and stumbling we fall.
Over and over He calls us back to Himself, and over and over we have a choice to make--to move forward or step back, to allow grace to carry us through the hard times or to determine to plunge through the hard times alone, to do all things for His glory or to do all things for our own glory.
If I am to live truly, I must acknowledge where I come from.
If I am to live fully, I must embrace Who I come from.
I must embrace the cross, and in doing so, find strength in pain.
I must change my ways, and continue falling deeper in love with the Creator, the Redeemer, the Spirit.
I must continue to center myself and my life around Him,
so that when He calls again, I'll know my name, and be ready to follow.
*Mumford and Sons, "The Cave"*
**Collin Raye, "Love Remains"**
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
In the Know
It began rather by accident. Or maybe it's been building up for years and suddenly something had to give. Either way, I stopped trying to change the world, and I started living my own life.
It goes back to about a month ago when I began to realize that caffeine was taking a serious toll on my stomach. I said goodbye to my caffeinated love and switched from too-many-to-count cups of coffee a day to two cups of decaf herbal tea a day.
For two or three weeks there, life was brutal. The world was against me. I had no motivation, no energy. Stress was mounting because I wasn't accomplishing anything and my to-do list was growing.
I gave up on working out and took to "sunshine yoga" (a more fun, more productive-sounding name for "laying out") where I lay out in the sun, soak up the rays of warm Vitamin D, and breathe deeply. It was restful and rejuvenating.
I stopped wearing makeup. This was partially out of laziness (but seriously, it allows for extra sleep and/or time to eat breakfast in the morning), but mostly because I'm tired of society's definition of beauty defining the way we see people. I watched this clip and something snapped and I said, that's it. I'm done. I quit the makeup and accepted that my hair is an untameable beast with a mind of its own, and the world can deal with it. God made me this way, and He loves me, and His love is all I really want.
Once I made that realization, that His love is all I want, I determined to make Him happy. I went about it the wrong way, driving myself crazy trying to figure out how I can be like Katie Davis from Kisses from Katie. And love reminded me that I am just me. That the best way to make God happy is to simply be the woman He created me to be.
That doesn't mean ditching all of my responsibilities and moving to an impoverished country. It means living every moment of every day with purpose. It means going to work on purpose. Dealing with broken machinery on purpose. Helping customers on purpose. Drinking herbal tea on purpose. Eating my lunch on purpose. Listening to my little sister's chattering on purpose. Dealing with stress by tackling one simple task at a time, on purpose.
It's amazing how full life is when you look at it this way. The days that I seem to accomplish nothing special, I've experienced something extraordinary. I've lived each moment as it happened, and it's beautiful.
It's tricky. I still get caught up in the rush of life and forget myself, but then I remember, and I simply come back and pick up where I left off. I swallow my mistakes, nod in determination and keep moving forward. I'm being proactive. I'm learning a lot about myself, and I'm learning to see not only myself but others the way God sees us.
Sometimes I don't know what to do with myself, or I get overwhelmed with it all, or I wonder how weak and miserable me is going to get by in this crazy world, and that's when I pray. It's in those moments that I've been discovering a simple but very real truth: GOD IS.
He said, "I AM." And I believed that, but now I'm beginning to know it. I know in my heart, in the sunshine, in the rain, in the high maintenance people, in the coffee grounds that won't go away, in the early hours of the morning when I don't want to get up and write but do anyway--I know that He is. He never changes, He always loves. He is.
The world is a mess, full of confusion and superficiality and meaninglessness and brokenness, but He still is. And He still whispers to us, though we don't usually hear Him over our cell phones or Netflix marathons. He calls to us, for us to love Him for who He is. And He loves us for who we are.
And I don't just believe that anymore, I know it.
It goes back to about a month ago when I began to realize that caffeine was taking a serious toll on my stomach. I said goodbye to my caffeinated love and switched from too-many-to-count cups of coffee a day to two cups of decaf herbal tea a day.
For two or three weeks there, life was brutal. The world was against me. I had no motivation, no energy. Stress was mounting because I wasn't accomplishing anything and my to-do list was growing.
I gave up on working out and took to "sunshine yoga" (a more fun, more productive-sounding name for "laying out") where I lay out in the sun, soak up the rays of warm Vitamin D, and breathe deeply. It was restful and rejuvenating.
I stopped wearing makeup. This was partially out of laziness (but seriously, it allows for extra sleep and/or time to eat breakfast in the morning), but mostly because I'm tired of society's definition of beauty defining the way we see people. I watched this clip and something snapped and I said, that's it. I'm done. I quit the makeup and accepted that my hair is an untameable beast with a mind of its own, and the world can deal with it. God made me this way, and He loves me, and His love is all I really want.
Once I made that realization, that His love is all I want, I determined to make Him happy. I went about it the wrong way, driving myself crazy trying to figure out how I can be like Katie Davis from Kisses from Katie. And love reminded me that I am just me. That the best way to make God happy is to simply be the woman He created me to be.
That doesn't mean ditching all of my responsibilities and moving to an impoverished country. It means living every moment of every day with purpose. It means going to work on purpose. Dealing with broken machinery on purpose. Helping customers on purpose. Drinking herbal tea on purpose. Eating my lunch on purpose. Listening to my little sister's chattering on purpose. Dealing with stress by tackling one simple task at a time, on purpose.
It's amazing how full life is when you look at it this way. The days that I seem to accomplish nothing special, I've experienced something extraordinary. I've lived each moment as it happened, and it's beautiful.
It's tricky. I still get caught up in the rush of life and forget myself, but then I remember, and I simply come back and pick up where I left off. I swallow my mistakes, nod in determination and keep moving forward. I'm being proactive. I'm learning a lot about myself, and I'm learning to see not only myself but others the way God sees us.
Sometimes I don't know what to do with myself, or I get overwhelmed with it all, or I wonder how weak and miserable me is going to get by in this crazy world, and that's when I pray. It's in those moments that I've been discovering a simple but very real truth: GOD IS.
He said, "I AM." And I believed that, but now I'm beginning to know it. I know in my heart, in the sunshine, in the rain, in the high maintenance people, in the coffee grounds that won't go away, in the early hours of the morning when I don't want to get up and write but do anyway--I know that He is. He never changes, He always loves. He is.
The world is a mess, full of confusion and superficiality and meaninglessness and brokenness, but He still is. And He still whispers to us, though we don't usually hear Him over our cell phones or Netflix marathons. He calls to us, for us to love Him for who He is. And He loves us for who we are.
And I don't just believe that anymore, I know it.
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Convicted
In her book Kisses from Katie, Katie Davis states that Jesus wrecked her life. I would have to say that in wrecking Katie's life, Jesus has also wrecked mine.
I have grown up in a faith-filled home, but I convinced myself that it was enough to stand firm in my beliefs in a culture that doesn't understand them. It was as if I didn't need to go out and do what Jesus said like feeding and clothing and loving the poor. I loved Him and He loved me and I lived in a bubble.
If I hadn't read her story, I might have continued on in this ignorance, but I read it. And Katie's story pulled at heartstrings that were buried by protective walls of fear. She went to volunteer for a year teaching orphans in Uganda, then ended up founding a non-profit ministry to sponsor children who couldn't afford school. She obtained a house for her office and opened the doors to the children for studying, learning about Jesus, bathing in clean running water, and eating healthy meals. Then a few of the girls started calling her mommy, and she began the process of adoption. She didn't plan on any of those things happening, but she opened her heart to God's will--to His people in need--and carried it out.
I have grown up in a faith-filled home, but I convinced myself that it was enough to stand firm in my beliefs in a culture that doesn't understand them. It was as if I didn't need to go out and do what Jesus said like feeding and clothing and loving the poor. I loved Him and He loved me and I lived in a bubble.
If I hadn't read her story, I might have continued on in this ignorance, but I read it. And Katie's story pulled at heartstrings that were buried by protective walls of fear. She went to volunteer for a year teaching orphans in Uganda, then ended up founding a non-profit ministry to sponsor children who couldn't afford school. She obtained a house for her office and opened the doors to the children for studying, learning about Jesus, bathing in clean running water, and eating healthy meals. Then a few of the girls started calling her mommy, and she began the process of adoption. She didn't plan on any of those things happening, but she opened her heart to God's will--to His people in need--and carried it out.
The way Katie is led by her faith and her love for God is beautiful, inspiring, and convicting. I was constantly bursting into tears and wondering at how far off from truth I've been living. Here is this young woman, practically my age, mother to fourteen, doctor, founder of an organization, mentor, feeder of the hungry--someone who has given up her previous life and the comforts of this world to not only proclaim the word of God, but also to live it.
I aspire. But I am not Katie. I am not Mother Teresa. I am me. And God does not want me to pack up my suitcase and move to Africa or India. At least, not today.
Katie often described how loving the children are that she ministers too. She is rewarded for her work with kisses and love every day. I look at the life I lead here in the first world and though I don't have to stitch wounds or de-worm kids or clean up dead rats, I don't have that kind of level of fulfillment from the work I do. My attempts to be a cheerful giver in the service industry are often met with indifference or straight-up rudeness. I can pour my heart into a mocha, serve it with a smile, and then receive a huffy, "I didn't want whipped cream on this."
Our society has become so wrapped up in this comfortable lifestyle, in getting everything we want, in living life for me. We forget that there are people out there who don't have the basics. They don't have food to eat, or running water to bathe in, or toilets, or roofs that keep the rain out. They have so much more, though. They have faith, and hearts brimming over with thanksgiving, and praise for God.
I often struggle with finding a balance. Don't these people who think they have it all need to know God as much as those who have nothing? Don't we all need to know God? So how do we live this life and minister to the spiritually impoverished while also serving the poor? Do we just ignore the high society and in doing so hope that we are leading by example?
I struggle. I want to do more to help those in need, but stepping out of my comfort zone scares me. Because everything scares me. But after being convicted by Katie's story and seeing in it how much the love of God can transform us when we let it, when we suck up our fears and trust in Him, I know I can do it. I just need to first focus my heart, soul, and mind on God.
I often struggle with finding a balance. Don't these people who think they have it all need to know God as much as those who have nothing? Don't we all need to know God? So how do we live this life and minister to the spiritually impoverished while also serving the poor? Do we just ignore the high society and in doing so hope that we are leading by example?
I struggle. I want to do more to help those in need, but stepping out of my comfort zone scares me. Because everything scares me. But after being convicted by Katie's story and seeing in it how much the love of God can transform us when we let it, when we suck up our fears and trust in Him, I know I can do it. I just need to first focus my heart, soul, and mind on God.
Friday, June 28, 2013
The Wedding Party
We live in an age where marriage is constantly discredited and written off. I hear all the time, "Oh, I don't believe in marriage." And "You should just do what you want." I find it ironic that in a time such as this when marriage is held in no to little regard, when people marry two or three or four times because "marriage doesn't work," everyone also suddenly wants "equal rights" for marriage.
Think about it.
Sex and children have been separated from marriage. Sex has become a recreation, an expression, a source of "self-discovery" for teenagers who are taught birth control because "they're going to do it anyway, and we don't want them to have to face the consequences of their actions." This is dangerously unrealistic.
Life is a series of choices and consequences. It kills me when young girls who find out that they are pregnant claim, "I don't know how it happened." What are they being taught in sex ed? Are educators sugar coating the FACTS OF LIFE with condoms and oral contraceptives? How is that educational? Or healthy? Teenagers learn little except that they can do whatever they want as long as they use protection. Well why aren't they being told to protect their hearts? Why aren't they being told that they are valuable, they have dignity, brains, and talents and their worth is not dependent on losing their virginity? Why aren't they being told that giving someone everything they want is not how you build a relationship of mutual trust and respect?
This distorted reality of "casual," "experimental" relationships is not inspiring people to suddenly settle down into loving, committed marriages. Nor does it teach them the value of strong marriages as the foundations for happy, well-adjusted families. But these families are necessary to the foundation of society.
Still, I find it ironic that it wasn't until this time when marriage and family have been obscured and broken and "modernized" that there has been an incredible increase in public support for same-sex marriage. I guess I don't understand why the same people who think marriage "doesn't work" are suddenly so intent on letting anyone take part. It's not that I don't think same-sex couples can have loving, committed relationships, or that they shouldn't have the same rights as everyone else, it's that I hold that marriage is not even a political issue, it's a spiritual one.
Mother Teresa spoke often of the spiritual poverty of the West. It's a lukewarm, numbed down, "believe in anything and stand for nothing" kind of spiritualism. Because I stand for things that make people uncomfortable (i.e. life vs. abortion, the traditions of my faith, the awesomeness of nuns, marriage, natural family planning) I am often seen as a close-minded, heartless, judgmental bigot.
Which is funny, because I'm actually a very understanding person. Just because I believe these things doesn't mean I judge people who don't. It doesn't mean I don't have the reason and the heart to see where other people are coming from and learn to understand why they think the way they do. I only ask that I receive the same respect.
So when I say that I believe in marriage, that I don't believe in divorce, that I believe marriage is between a man and a woman, that I don't believe marriage is a magical spell that binds people together happily ever after, that I believe it is not to be entered lightly because it is not a walk in a park but a road to salvation, I say it from my heart, not from my Catholic cradle as a mindless recitation of old-school traditionalist beliefs that were shoved down my throat. These beliefs come from the heart of an educated woman who has had a lifetime encounter with Christ via Catholicism, which she accepted fully only after coming into a fuller understanding of it, its traditions, and its teachings.
I also don't spout my beliefs as a holier-than-though preacher (God knows I am far, far from perfect), but as a person who loves people and desires the greatest good of all humanity. I believe Jesus shows us what true humanity and true freedom are.
I believe that we are all destined to communion with God, which is why I love weddings. I believe that weddings are the earthly taste of the love and glory we will find in heaven. Yes, in a way, I believe that heaven is one giant, never-ending wedding reception, but not the kind we have here on earth (I do hope there's an open bar. . . ;-) ). I believe it is the marriage of Christ and His Bride, the Church, the wedding feast of the Lamb. It is something spectacular and glorious beyond all human imagination, but something we receive a taste of at every Mass, and at every wedding.
In heaven, there are no lonely bridesmaids drinking the night away with drunken groomsmen, wondering when it will be their turn. The bridesmaids and groomsmen are the angels (this may not be theologically correct, but my friend Angie and I like to think that it is). There are no women abused verbally, physically, or emotionally. There are no adulterous encounters to tear families apart. There is only God in all His Glory and endless Mercy, loving us unconditionally.
What we experience of this union on earth is imperfect, and corrupted by our sinfulness, but it is a taste of what we hope for. At a wedding, we watch the groom's face light up with love and anticipation as the woman he loves processes down the aisle toward him. It's the same love and anticipation Christ has for us as He waits for us in heaven. The aisle to heaven, however, is not covered in rose petals scattered by our niece in a sparkly dress. It is lined with roses and thorns, sickness and health, suffering and joy, good times and bad. It is narrow, but, thankfully, we don't have to walk it alone.
God said, "It is not good for man to be alone," so he gave man a woman. Together they sinned, he banished them from paradise, and then he sent his Son to give up his own life in order to redeem them. We are all called to follow Christ's example, to lay down our lives for one another, to pour out our lives for one another. Some of us are called to do this in marriage, but marriage isn't supposed to be easy--it is a way to salvation. The wedding represents the ultimate goal of heaven, and the joyful union we'll find there. The marriage, the life of "happily ever after" is the walk down that really long, narrow aisle--but waiting there at the end is our first and forever truest love, Jesus Christ.
The best part is that God does not abandon us during this journey. He sends loving family and friends, as well as the Holy Spirit to be with us and guide us along the way so we can enter eternal life with him. That's why, even when we make mistakes, even when we hurt and deny him, even when the going gets tough and we feel like he doesn't see us anymore, even when the life we planned with him doesn't turn out at all the way we dreamed it would and we want to just give up, He still loves us.
Marriage (any vocation for that matter) requires that we first die to ourselves and give of ourselves freely, totally, faithfully, and fruitfully all the days of our lives. And when our lives on earth are over, we get to enter heaven, where there will be an epic party to celebrate.
Think about it.
Sex and children have been separated from marriage. Sex has become a recreation, an expression, a source of "self-discovery" for teenagers who are taught birth control because "they're going to do it anyway, and we don't want them to have to face the consequences of their actions." This is dangerously unrealistic.
Life is a series of choices and consequences. It kills me when young girls who find out that they are pregnant claim, "I don't know how it happened." What are they being taught in sex ed? Are educators sugar coating the FACTS OF LIFE with condoms and oral contraceptives? How is that educational? Or healthy? Teenagers learn little except that they can do whatever they want as long as they use protection. Well why aren't they being told to protect their hearts? Why aren't they being told that they are valuable, they have dignity, brains, and talents and their worth is not dependent on losing their virginity? Why aren't they being told that giving someone everything they want is not how you build a relationship of mutual trust and respect?
This distorted reality of "casual," "experimental" relationships is not inspiring people to suddenly settle down into loving, committed marriages. Nor does it teach them the value of strong marriages as the foundations for happy, well-adjusted families. But these families are necessary to the foundation of society.
Still, I find it ironic that it wasn't until this time when marriage and family have been obscured and broken and "modernized" that there has been an incredible increase in public support for same-sex marriage. I guess I don't understand why the same people who think marriage "doesn't work" are suddenly so intent on letting anyone take part. It's not that I don't think same-sex couples can have loving, committed relationships, or that they shouldn't have the same rights as everyone else, it's that I hold that marriage is not even a political issue, it's a spiritual one.
Mother Teresa spoke often of the spiritual poverty of the West. It's a lukewarm, numbed down, "believe in anything and stand for nothing" kind of spiritualism. Because I stand for things that make people uncomfortable (i.e. life vs. abortion, the traditions of my faith, the awesomeness of nuns, marriage, natural family planning) I am often seen as a close-minded, heartless, judgmental bigot.
Which is funny, because I'm actually a very understanding person. Just because I believe these things doesn't mean I judge people who don't. It doesn't mean I don't have the reason and the heart to see where other people are coming from and learn to understand why they think the way they do. I only ask that I receive the same respect.
So when I say that I believe in marriage, that I don't believe in divorce, that I believe marriage is between a man and a woman, that I don't believe marriage is a magical spell that binds people together happily ever after, that I believe it is not to be entered lightly because it is not a walk in a park but a road to salvation, I say it from my heart, not from my Catholic cradle as a mindless recitation of old-school traditionalist beliefs that were shoved down my throat. These beliefs come from the heart of an educated woman who has had a lifetime encounter with Christ via Catholicism, which she accepted fully only after coming into a fuller understanding of it, its traditions, and its teachings.
I also don't spout my beliefs as a holier-than-though preacher (God knows I am far, far from perfect), but as a person who loves people and desires the greatest good of all humanity. I believe Jesus shows us what true humanity and true freedom are.
I believe that we are all destined to communion with God, which is why I love weddings. I believe that weddings are the earthly taste of the love and glory we will find in heaven. Yes, in a way, I believe that heaven is one giant, never-ending wedding reception, but not the kind we have here on earth (I do hope there's an open bar. . . ;-) ). I believe it is the marriage of Christ and His Bride, the Church, the wedding feast of the Lamb. It is something spectacular and glorious beyond all human imagination, but something we receive a taste of at every Mass, and at every wedding.
In heaven, there are no lonely bridesmaids drinking the night away with drunken groomsmen, wondering when it will be their turn. The bridesmaids and groomsmen are the angels (this may not be theologically correct, but my friend Angie and I like to think that it is). There are no women abused verbally, physically, or emotionally. There are no adulterous encounters to tear families apart. There is only God in all His Glory and endless Mercy, loving us unconditionally.
What we experience of this union on earth is imperfect, and corrupted by our sinfulness, but it is a taste of what we hope for. At a wedding, we watch the groom's face light up with love and anticipation as the woman he loves processes down the aisle toward him. It's the same love and anticipation Christ has for us as He waits for us in heaven. The aisle to heaven, however, is not covered in rose petals scattered by our niece in a sparkly dress. It is lined with roses and thorns, sickness and health, suffering and joy, good times and bad. It is narrow, but, thankfully, we don't have to walk it alone.
God said, "It is not good for man to be alone," so he gave man a woman. Together they sinned, he banished them from paradise, and then he sent his Son to give up his own life in order to redeem them. We are all called to follow Christ's example, to lay down our lives for one another, to pour out our lives for one another. Some of us are called to do this in marriage, but marriage isn't supposed to be easy--it is a way to salvation. The wedding represents the ultimate goal of heaven, and the joyful union we'll find there. The marriage, the life of "happily ever after" is the walk down that really long, narrow aisle--but waiting there at the end is our first and forever truest love, Jesus Christ.
The best part is that God does not abandon us during this journey. He sends loving family and friends, as well as the Holy Spirit to be with us and guide us along the way so we can enter eternal life with him. That's why, even when we make mistakes, even when we hurt and deny him, even when the going gets tough and we feel like he doesn't see us anymore, even when the life we planned with him doesn't turn out at all the way we dreamed it would and we want to just give up, He still loves us.
Marriage (any vocation for that matter) requires that we first die to ourselves and give of ourselves freely, totally, faithfully, and fruitfully all the days of our lives. And when our lives on earth are over, we get to enter heaven, where there will be an epic party to celebrate.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Summer Reading
Pages worn and weathered, yellowed on the edges, spine crinkled in half and splitting at the ends--a book well loved and well read: my copy of Ella Enchanted* by Gail Carson Levine.
It's my favorite book of all time, even now in my mid-twenties. I read it every year, at least once, usually in the summer when I feel like going on an adventure with an old friend.
You may find it strange that of all the books this English major has read, a children's book is her favorite, but this book changed me. It tells the classic tale of Cinderella, but with depth, believable and likable characters, humor, seriousness, and charm. It transported me in the sixth grade to an enchanted place where even I, shy and awkward as I was, could rise up to become a heroine.
I'm sure feminists everywhere love that this heroine isn't just a timid good girl waiting for her prince to come along and save her. She is brave, clever, and determined and takes her destiny into her own hands. She doesn't win the prince over simply by her beauty, but by being her spunky self. Their love grows naturally, and in the end, she sacrifices everything to save him.
Reading it now, I recognize how the simple but rich telling is similar to Ernest Hemingway's "less is more" style that I love so much. I notice how and why the author's choice of descriptors enchanted me so much. I pay attention to the mechanics, and wonder at the brilliant simplicity of it all.
Ella's narration heavily influenced my own voice in writing. I realized early on that I would never conquer ogres, or amaze anyone with my quick wit. But I could use my words in my writing to say what was in my heart, to use my power of the pen to fight the good fight.
I aspire.
*I know what you may be thinking: "Isn't that a movie with Anne Hathaway?" The answer is yes, and at the same time an emphatic NO. There is a movie starring Anne Hathaway with the same title and same basic concept, but an entirely different story, different characters and blatant disregard for the brilliance of the book. I saw the movie once in theaters when it first came out, and I was traumatized. I had such high hopes that here, finally, people who hadn't had a chance to read the book might be able to have at least a glimpse at one of my favorite stories ever. But it was not to be.
I realize now that this comes to mind (I try to block out the movie and pretend that it doesn't exist most of the time), that this is the real reason I never liked Anne Hathaway as an actress. Because in my heart, as a young impressionable woman, she destroyed my favorite character on the big screen. It wasn't exactly her fault, since she didn't write the script, but she completely misrepresented my favorite literary character--something I was unable to forgive her for until she played the desperate prostitute in Les Miserables. (I couldn't not respect her after that.)
If you have seen the movie Ella Enchanted but never read the book, whether or not you liked the movie, please do yourself a favor and read the book.*
It's my favorite book of all time, even now in my mid-twenties. I read it every year, at least once, usually in the summer when I feel like going on an adventure with an old friend.
You may find it strange that of all the books this English major has read, a children's book is her favorite, but this book changed me. It tells the classic tale of Cinderella, but with depth, believable and likable characters, humor, seriousness, and charm. It transported me in the sixth grade to an enchanted place where even I, shy and awkward as I was, could rise up to become a heroine.
I'm sure feminists everywhere love that this heroine isn't just a timid good girl waiting for her prince to come along and save her. She is brave, clever, and determined and takes her destiny into her own hands. She doesn't win the prince over simply by her beauty, but by being her spunky self. Their love grows naturally, and in the end, she sacrifices everything to save him.
Reading it now, I recognize how the simple but rich telling is similar to Ernest Hemingway's "less is more" style that I love so much. I notice how and why the author's choice of descriptors enchanted me so much. I pay attention to the mechanics, and wonder at the brilliant simplicity of it all.
Ella's narration heavily influenced my own voice in writing. I realized early on that I would never conquer ogres, or amaze anyone with my quick wit. But I could use my words in my writing to say what was in my heart, to use my power of the pen to fight the good fight.
I aspire.
*I know what you may be thinking: "Isn't that a movie with Anne Hathaway?" The answer is yes, and at the same time an emphatic NO. There is a movie starring Anne Hathaway with the same title and same basic concept, but an entirely different story, different characters and blatant disregard for the brilliance of the book. I saw the movie once in theaters when it first came out, and I was traumatized. I had such high hopes that here, finally, people who hadn't had a chance to read the book might be able to have at least a glimpse at one of my favorite stories ever. But it was not to be.
I realize now that this comes to mind (I try to block out the movie and pretend that it doesn't exist most of the time), that this is the real reason I never liked Anne Hathaway as an actress. Because in my heart, as a young impressionable woman, she destroyed my favorite character on the big screen. It wasn't exactly her fault, since she didn't write the script, but she completely misrepresented my favorite literary character--something I was unable to forgive her for until she played the desperate prostitute in Les Miserables. (I couldn't not respect her after that.)
If you have seen the movie Ella Enchanted but never read the book, whether or not you liked the movie, please do yourself a favor and read the book.*
Friday, June 21, 2013
A Simple Life
It was definitely time for a vacation, so we ventured forth on
(1) an epic road trip.
We hopped in his silver Saturn and split out of Ohio. Skies were blue, summer was near, and we were burnt out. Ohio became West Virginia became Pennsylvania and we stopped to clog our arteries with sandwiches topped with french fries and coleslaw (#Primanti Brothers #totallyworthit). The sinking sun painted the sky lavender. The earth around us rose until we were surrounded by dark peaks. The road became winding and I fell asleep, only to wake and see how many more stars there were out here to wish on.
Days of new scenery in a place where life is a little slower but also a little fuller. It was an escape from the daily grind and perpetual fake-it-til-you-make-it service, a chance to volunteer and explore and spend time with family and friends. We ate super-fresh ice cream and possibly the best pizza I've ever had, went treasure-hunting, and found new inspiration.
The 7 hour trip home became 12 because we didn't want to come home. We stopped whenever and wherever we wanted--Emlenton, Muskingum, Tlaquepaque to name a few--and returned fresh and ready to tackle
(2) this thing called life.
Funny where life leads us when we follow Christ--on greater adventures than we ever could have imagined for ourselves. Through the twists and turns, two old friends/roommates/household sisters reunited to share our stories and our faith over a meal of Mexican food and margaritas--a communion. She told me about a book, how her life was changed by
(3) Our Lady of Kibeho.
My friend gave me a copy of the book and I was enthralled. It was such a simple, beautiful, moving telling of the apparitions of Our Lady to the African people. She appeared in Rwanda and warned about the genocide that would occur if the people didn't change their hearts (not their religions, their hearts).
She spoke of the importance of kindness, forgiveness, love for each other and all of humanity. She spoke of the importance of suffering, that we can't reach heaven without it, so we should be thankful for it, because it means we're on our way.
She spoke of her love for all mankind, that she desires us to come to her Son through herself, and I marveled at the way
(4) Mary constantly reveals herself to us.
She has appeared to Bernadette at Lourdes, to the three children at Fatima, to the young women at Kibeho--to name a few. When I was in Austria, she kept quietly revealing herself to me, leading me closer to her Son. She called me to serve as a handmaid in Lourdes and help guide people to her by
(5) Marian grace.
Marian Grace also happens to be the name of a Nashville-based music group that aspires to transform the world through beauty. Their albums Marian Grace: Ancient Hymns and Chants and What Wondrous Love have become the soundtrack of my life these days. The beauty and the glory in the music elevates my soul and turns my heart and mind to heaven. Listening to their music has truly inspired me and helped me find that
(6) inner peace.
No matter where I go in this life, I am confident that God's loving hand is guiding me. I am slowly learning how to let go of my own whiny needs and wants to live for a greater love and glory. I've stopped comparing myself to others and started accepting my own faults and weaknesses. I've stopped wasting around watching lame TV shows on Netflix and started spending my time doing more constructive things. I've stopped worrying so much about getting eight hours of sleep every night and started making sure I maintain a balance of work, rest, exercise, family-time, catching up with friends, prayer, etc. I'm working on being over-prepared but also able to go with the flow, having a lot to do, but also making time to play a game with my little sister when she asks.
I've found that these little adjustments make a big difference, and allow me to maintain inner peace while I struggle to find my place here, to be in the world but not of it, to stand up for what I know is true.
It's a simple life I lead, but it's rich and full, and I am thankful for every moment.
(1) an epic road trip.
We hopped in his silver Saturn and split out of Ohio. Skies were blue, summer was near, and we were burnt out. Ohio became West Virginia became Pennsylvania and we stopped to clog our arteries with sandwiches topped with french fries and coleslaw (#Primanti Brothers #totallyworthit). The sinking sun painted the sky lavender. The earth around us rose until we were surrounded by dark peaks. The road became winding and I fell asleep, only to wake and see how many more stars there were out here to wish on.
Days of new scenery in a place where life is a little slower but also a little fuller. It was an escape from the daily grind and perpetual fake-it-til-you-make-it service, a chance to volunteer and explore and spend time with family and friends. We ate super-fresh ice cream and possibly the best pizza I've ever had, went treasure-hunting, and found new inspiration.
The 7 hour trip home became 12 because we didn't want to come home. We stopped whenever and wherever we wanted--Emlenton, Muskingum, Tlaquepaque to name a few--and returned fresh and ready to tackle
(2) this thing called life.
Funny where life leads us when we follow Christ--on greater adventures than we ever could have imagined for ourselves. Through the twists and turns, two old friends/roommates/household sisters reunited to share our stories and our faith over a meal of Mexican food and margaritas--a communion. She told me about a book, how her life was changed by
(3) Our Lady of Kibeho.
My friend gave me a copy of the book and I was enthralled. It was such a simple, beautiful, moving telling of the apparitions of Our Lady to the African people. She appeared in Rwanda and warned about the genocide that would occur if the people didn't change their hearts (not their religions, their hearts).
She spoke of the importance of kindness, forgiveness, love for each other and all of humanity. She spoke of the importance of suffering, that we can't reach heaven without it, so we should be thankful for it, because it means we're on our way.
She spoke of her love for all mankind, that she desires us to come to her Son through herself, and I marveled at the way
(4) Mary constantly reveals herself to us.
She has appeared to Bernadette at Lourdes, to the three children at Fatima, to the young women at Kibeho--to name a few. When I was in Austria, she kept quietly revealing herself to me, leading me closer to her Son. She called me to serve as a handmaid in Lourdes and help guide people to her by
(5) Marian grace.
Marian Grace also happens to be the name of a Nashville-based music group that aspires to transform the world through beauty. Their albums Marian Grace: Ancient Hymns and Chants and What Wondrous Love have become the soundtrack of my life these days. The beauty and the glory in the music elevates my soul and turns my heart and mind to heaven. Listening to their music has truly inspired me and helped me find that
(6) inner peace.
No matter where I go in this life, I am confident that God's loving hand is guiding me. I am slowly learning how to let go of my own whiny needs and wants to live for a greater love and glory. I've stopped comparing myself to others and started accepting my own faults and weaknesses. I've stopped wasting around watching lame TV shows on Netflix and started spending my time doing more constructive things. I've stopped worrying so much about getting eight hours of sleep every night and started making sure I maintain a balance of work, rest, exercise, family-time, catching up with friends, prayer, etc. I'm working on being over-prepared but also able to go with the flow, having a lot to do, but also making time to play a game with my little sister when she asks.
I've found that these little adjustments make a big difference, and allow me to maintain inner peace while I struggle to find my place here, to be in the world but not of it, to stand up for what I know is true.
It's a simple life I lead, but it's rich and full, and I am thankful for every moment.
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